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love,
kelly.
[i could lose my way on this merry-go-round]
mann. what a day it was yesterday.
annalyn came over to study. i really dont know why i decided to study, when my mum told me to relax. haha weird. oh and my stupid dvd player screwed up on me before i could watch my last disc of my sappy emotional stupid taiwanese vcd! gah. anti-climax.
anw i think when you put annalyn and i together, all you get is DAMN A LOT OF LAUGHTER. haha what to do. we're from 6L! (: ahha. it's superbly funny! the things we do, stuff we say, hahaha. we started conversing in chinese to prepare for the chinese perf task thingamajig. and everything came out damn wrong. all in direct translation. so imagine, when we wanted to say 'shit!', what does it become? hahaha.
and yes annalyn, the wind is proud. hahahaha.
she left before 530, so i just stoned around. somehow i've been really sleepy, so i slept till my mum got home. dinner then tuition.
ahha omg so funny. i never knew it would be that tough to dao someone. hahaha. it tickles me everytime i think of it. wahahaha. and tristan loo! you person! just cause you're a smartass, who are you to insult my IQ! hahaha. (:
this is weird, the first internal dispute that's going on between my classmates. for the past year and a half, we've been such a peaceful class! haha. anw ling i think you should take your entry down. it IS wrong anyway. and you don't want the other person to find out too. it's too explicit lar. and i know ally probably doesn't read my blog, but maybe she should listen and absorb whatever you have said, after being angry of course. i think she has the liberty to be. but i think it's through these mindless (okay not so mindless. tactless.) comments, that one learns from and becomes a better person. mmhmm.
hope it doesn't last too long.
that means class cell is kaboom! already right.
and i hope. things between us won't become hatred. tell me the person you're talking about on your blog isn't me. sigh.
the centre of your world
[dont leave me hanging on a string]
now that i've given you everything.
haha it's so weird how i'm feeling. probably going mad. i haven't felt like this for the past few weeks! plus the fact i hardly get mood swings, this is quite odd.
it sucks to be gloomy.
to somehow feel alone.
maybe jess is right. and its just me being oversensitive.
mmhmm.
pool with annalyn today. haha. i won. best of three. (: i still rock, woman. you cant beat me. nyahhnyahh. though we didn't spend a lot of time, i think both of us talk quite a lot. remisicising, as usual. i'm telling you, JIALIN WAS IN OUR GROUP. mmhmm.
piano. then dinner with grandparents. i love them both! so cute. esp my granddaddy. who dotes on me quite a bit i realise. haha dinner was funny. the beef was so spicy but my granddad ordered it for me, to make sure there's something that suits me more than the chinkified dishes i hardly eat. so i couldn't not eat it. ten minutes into dinner and i started tearing, due to the overwhelming heat in my mouth. haha comical. dinner was nice, though!
okay really not in a blogging mood.
i shall...
rant in my diary.
toodles.
i'm trying not to run for cover
[a funk odyssey]
one more day! at least for now. then it'd be back to torture again when the whole lot of exams come. haha someone should just screw the whole education system. we're all becoming deprived freaks. haha i'm not allowed to miss someone! cause jess says i'm getting greedy. hahaha. so funny. (:
i know that God must love me cause He sent you to me.
on angel's wings.
church today was really unlike the normal services. we went for street evangelism! which is the scariest thing you have to do. going up to people on the streets, trying to share His Word with them. wow the rejection is terribly disheartening. i remember doing street E with beejay last year? he was so...disappointed. but it rockedd. went around with liqun, and we got talking to a buncha youths, and invited them to church, though they're like half Christians. girls' brigade you see. yup it so rocked. i really wanted to just cower and sit in church with josh mok. but after so much He has done for me, it would be against my conscience to not carry out my sole purpose in life. mikh rocks! i realise i come back every sunday loving mikhtam chan even more! he's the bestt. one of my bestest brothers in Christ! (: i think my phone's got too many pictures with him. better delete soon, lest other people get the wrong message. haha.
dance wasn't as crazy as the last time i went. haha. hopefully i won't suffer any major injuries or aches tomorrow. but it was fun! easy, actually. strangely. haha. then lunched with jess! haven't done this routine in ages! (: it was funn!
so i got home and buried my phone under my sheets. haha. only taking it out around 9. less tempting, see. and i occupied myself with useless things such as television and my math perf task. WHICH I HAVE FINISHED! the sense of accomplishment! amazing! but the television didn't really work, cause i was subdued in my hopelessly romantice vcds, which just didn't really help get my mind off you. hmm, haha.
just finished all my work, so i can go sleep! annalyn has finally decided to be nice and go play pool with me tomorrow. too bad i have piano at 530! ahh. i hope everything goes well, and there's no problem with handing in the math pt, since xinwei is getting her mum to hand it in. o.O then maybe go shopping. ugh sometimes i really hate zara, cause they dont know how to follow the norm and HAVE THEIR SALE THE SAME TIME EVERYONE ELSE HAS THEIRS. i want my skirtt! and the french connection cap that i fell in love with today. i dont even know what's so nice about it. it's just nice and white and has a rather lovely fit. hmm. 29 bucks. stupid, things i like are never on sale. even if they are, it's like what. 54 bucks to 49 bucks. the stupid gorgeous nike shirt. haha. i sound very whiney and girly today. nevermind. once in awhile, it's okay.
i shall go catch up with lemony snicket! fourth book out of eleven. long way to go!
you give me someone to love, someone to hold
when i'm in your arms i need you to know
i've never been this close
[sing to me the song of the stars]
whaat. mr jalleh's only accepting the stupid apology letters unless we give them to him personally? wth. so he wants fifty odd people to call him up one by one and say. mr jalleh i need to hand you the apology letters? sheesh. talk about acting big shot.
yesterday was funny. seeing all the countless zombies roaming around the school. somehow no one really realised it was the last day of school. when the bell rung, we just all headed to our ccas. thinking that okay the week's over, but another rough one will start again in two days' time. guess we have a month off this time. wonder when the word 'holidays' will finally sink in. haha, buncha deprived people.
well i really must thank shinjung. obediently, i went for choir. realising that hey, we're not really doing anything. since they were having camp, so they had all the time in the world. so i practically stoned and tried falling asleep from 230 to 445. then i saw shinjung! going HOME. i know she lives somewhere near school. so i tagged along. haha. though i didn't manage to fall asleep, at least my mind was at rest! and not still caught up with SCHOOLSCHOOLSCHOOL. and if not for her, i wouldn't know what to do from 530 to about seven. ahha. yay. her rabbit's really cute. just that it hopped around too fast for me to take a picture. her kind mum gave us so much chocolates, but i only ate like two TINY pieces. sorry jung you need more chocolates then i do. haha. and after just hanging around for quite awhile, she walked me to rtc! err, halfway. but at least i had company. whee. my deepest gratitude!
ahha sorry, last night goes into my diary. (:
nyahhhnyahhh.
sleep is good. i slept at 1130 last night! *applausee* and i actually woke up at EIGHT today. my goodness. i forced myself back to sleep. haha. lots of things to do today. violin. my mum wants me to go shopping with her after that. blah. then my neighbour's concert at night. gahh. i need to do math perf task! speaking of which, i really have to leave for violin now.
i think ivan's giving me a cold shoulder. are you are you? can't seem to figure out what i did. hmmm.
over reliance is a veryvery dangerous.
have you ever found the one
you dreamed of all your life
you'd do just anything
to look into their eyes
[have you ever loved somebody so bad it makes you cry]
hellooo.
it's physics! time to hand in the blimming performance task. but since cha and i have handed in, we're just stoning in class. since mr yanggg has no lesson planned today, and doesn't allow us to leave early. ladeedum. school is havoc man. like, i think half the level isn't here today. and those who are, just look like a buncha zombies. we are. seriously. sleep deprived. haha hello annalyn. the poor girl slept at 5am. or should i say, napped. guess i slept a lot earlier, but i'm getting a fluuu! ): wonder whether i'll be half asleep by the time i meet you for dinner. haha.
woo it's the last day of school! talk about time passing quickly. i still miss the p6 days, as annalyn and i were reminiscing in the car on the way back home yesterday. haha. the phrase "yeah right, like we're gonna come back to nyps" seems like it was said yesterday. haha. now we're gonna leave rg soon! mixed feelings about it. first two years of torture, next two years slightly better. but i think i'll miss my class a lot. and the crazy fella sitting next to me everyday. listening to my rants. my nonsense. my songs. my cries. and basically everything! so fun huh. haha.
okay annalyn's turn. YOU DITCHED ME FOR POOL AGAIN YOU DINGDANGDONG.
talkin' talk is not just talk
you get me high` 10:02 PM
i will be still, know You are God
i seem to be blogging a lot today huh.
haha i can't seem to verbalise why.
oh well. school was quite tiresome. can't believe we had to stay back for some chinese thingamajig for an hour plus. such a complete waste of time, when we could be better off at home finishing our physics p.t.
been so tired.
this is such an inconsequential entry.
okayokay i shall rant on in my diary.
what a strange day it's been today.
at least, feelings wise.
yay thank you annalyn for letting me go on and on and on the whole of today.
and relax about those two.
QT taught me to let the Word change me and not the other way round. doing the right thing is hard. but just. pray abt it yeahh.
whee. remember, God answers prayers.
past the point of no return
ah it sucks not being able to msg you!
must exercise self control.
feels damn weird.
boo. it's torturous.
ahh nevermind.
absence makes the heart grow fonder.
[guilty feet have got no rhythmn]
damn the physics p.t, giving me a terrible headache.
i really wouldn't blog but just in case i forgot what happened yesterday...
vesak day! surprisingly superbly fun.
buying the physics materials with rucha was fun! there were so many other people at sim lim tower. i think the whole cohord has been there, so much so that the people working there were getting very irritated with us going "auntie do you have magnet! copper wire?!" yeah. quite funny.
then piano. the usual.
mum dropped me at clementi at SIX can. then i had to rush down to cityhall to meet ivan at 620. thank goodness i wasn't too late. cafe cartel for dinner. fish and chips! superbly broke now, haha. >_< okay then here comes the first fun part of the night! we were at cityhall right, i wanted to walk to esplanade, but the very spoilt ivan didn't. hahaha. so guess what. WE TOOK A TRISHAW. omg. it was like. the scariest yet fun-nest thing alive! so freaky! travelling on the road next to the boomboom cars, while you hold on (okay i held on) to your dear life on some wobbly chair thingy, with a very poor uncle cycling his heart out to get you to your destination. i was not a wuss, you ivan cheng! hahaha. okay a bit, but nvm. so i thought, ah what a fun ride, let's do it more often, till we reached there and the uncle said "fifteen dollars" (in chinese). omg. like what. a. ripoff. i have come to a conclusion that trishaw uncles are rich people. shall make it my ambition, what a good form of exercise too. haha. anyway thank you ivan for paying!
alright then i met limmy's mum for the tickets. the concert was quite good, i mean, the choir's excellent and all. but you know choir concerts, esp when they're all just combined, it's kinda boring. during the intermission, we discovered some funkay outdoor singing thing, but the next song was psalmo 150! so we went back to the concert hall for that one song, then left to listen to the outdoor thingamajig. unfortunately it ended... pretty soon. haha. so we went to some part near the river and SANG. oh my gosh. we sang SO LOUDLY. but hardly anyone cared. it was so amazingly fun. and relaxing. and ouchh i like ivan's voice. mmhmm. superbly entertaining! we're like two mad drunkards singing to our heart's content. hahaha.
basically i had such an awesomeee weekend. just that sunday night goes into my diary. and thanks again to ivan for the wonderful company. and being such an indispensible talking buddy. see i told you we would have things to talk about! woohoo. i haven't done stuff like that for the longest time!
and AH. oh my gosh. prayers work miracles! now i dont have to hate anyone. and i'm so happy. oh yay oh yay oh yay. (:
and well. to someone. i'm not gonna talk to you cause i think you will feel worse. and i think you still read my blog don't you. okay i realise i dont know what to say to you either, but i just hope you won't keep dwelling on it. no one's expecting you to forget, i wont be able to do that completely either. but taking a foot forward would help. but i just dont think it's fair to say it had been unbalanced anyway.
hmm i wonder if the person even knows im talking about him. haha.
watch the sunrise
say your goodbyes
off we go
[that's not the shape of my heart]
darn it. now i can't blog what i want, everything's gotta go into my prettypretty striped book. all your fault. grr.
i have half the heart to delete all the entries. at least the more recent ones. but ah i won't. i like my blog too much. a revenue for my rants. blah.
vesak day!
i'm trying really damn hard to study for my chinese, but it's kinda hard to concentrate. studying one chapter, then walking around, fiddling with my piano, talk on the phone. not the least productive. haha. i should lock myself up in my room or something. ah no wait, then i'll just have my thoughts with me. okay nevermind.
gonna go to sim lim tower with rucha to get stuff for physics later. i still don't know how to make whatever i want to make. hmm. tough stuff.
then acj concert with ivan. hopefully dinner. probably dinner. haha wonder what we'll end up eating again.
my feud with my mum is getting weird. we don't talk, we sms. which is quite funny. she msged 'goodnight' to me last night. i kinda feel for her, cause my brother's being the usual nonchalent him, and they're starting to pick a fight again. augh i hate it. winston should come over more often. he makes the house more lively. at least my brother laughs more, and there's less tension at home.
ah okay i really have to hit the books.
it's a one-way ticket to a mad man situation
[in darkness you're all i see]
i remember so clearly last night. while praying. saying a few words that seemed so evident to me. it's weird how it comes right back at my face today. mmhmm. and i remember, last night before i slept, how i realised reality. how much friends really affect me. low chunyee. man. now when i hear that name, i dont know whether to laugh, cry, or to scoff. at that name. damn i really hope you read this.
the one person who stays up later than anyone else to make sure i'm fine. the one person who really makes sure i don't have to walk back all in the dark, even if he can't walk me back. the one person who tells me to think of myself more, and to let people have a chance to be there for me, instead of it always being the other way round. the one person who never ever fails to make me laugh. the one person i only have praises for. the one person i trust and respect wholeheartedly. the one person i thank God for all the time. the one person who has heard me cry my heart out on the phone.
the one person who can't keep his hands off me.
i hate you. for doing this to me. for betraying my trust. betraying my friendship. don't you feel bad? why aren't you apologizing? cause you can't convince yourself to keep your hands in your pocket when you're out with me? is it? and because i told you to only talk to me when you're able to do that? i hate you. i dont want to gain another friendship but lose the one with you. the past four years, if it were not for you, i'd have broken down a lot more times than i already have. but why, why do this to me now? i know when you're joking around, fooling around like you usually do, but why did you have to go so far. why dammit why. much that you know i treat you as a gd friend, i deserve the basic respect a human being should get. and not to mention a girl.
i hate you dammit i hate you.
because you're so honest, and i know that if you can't convince yourself you'll respect my words enough to not come talk to me. much less apologize. i know it. and i know telling you off isn't wrong. so if it's gonna be so, i will just pray for strength. to live without such an important friend in my life. friends come and friends go. you shall be the one who leaves. it will shatter me into pieces, i know. rivers will flow. but i'm not a pushover. and unless you treasure our friendship enough to know what you have to do, i won't budge. i'll make sure i dont.
i really hate you low chunyee.
at least for now.
and i hope it wouldn't have to last.
doesn't it hurt to hear 'i hate you' coming from me?
doesn't it?!
train comes i dont know which destination
to ANNALYN:
stupid annalyn. im not zhong se qing you.
i'm not loh. grr.
haha crap i have to stop sinking! oh ling i think your buncha clamped up words at the bottom of your entry is quite funny. haha.
shite i have so much to sayyyy to you!
ok actually not really, but ah well.
you get me high` 10:06 AM
[got my hands in chains]
augh. i'm so tired of crying. it's no fun crying for two hours straight. the aftermath is horrible. the fatigue, the tired face muscles, the swollen eyes, the redder than red nose. augh i'm so sick of it. i want out. i really do. i know i'm stubborn. but i just dont want to be the weak and clingy one that goes and talk to her. i really don't even know what i even did wrong. other than very superficial things. why can't she just be a more reasonable mother and stop giving me hell?
psl carn. i had to wake up so early to grab a cab down. reached there. wah damn early. watched char's band rehearse a bit. their performance was a bit shaky i guess, probably due the nerves. but AHHA the ri band. HAHA. one looked as though he was playing the pipa, some chinese instrument. hold the guitar so high for WHAT?! the HAHA bassist, whose name is not worthy to be mentioned on my blog, seemed to SMALL for the bass. omg like he was reaching for the strings like there was no tomorrow. hahaha. but kudos to the lead singer for singing i believe in a thing called love.
then yl's band. omg shit they're good. that's what i mean by a good rock band. the funniest thing was the expressions on the RI guys' faces. all so defeated and unaccomplished. staring in awe and wonder. that's what i call music, guys. not whatever immature thing you call music. anyway yeah yl's good stuff. he's damn good at the lead guit lar! my gosh. the drummer was ouchhh. and the lead had a damn nice voice. ah what to do, choir chair if i'm not wrong. they were all damn strong instrumentally. but they have weird...actions. haha. like stripping to their boxers. okay only one guy. but i dont know, it was cool.
ahh it was a weird day. with the weirdest people there. shaun. ben. LIONEL. JON. LEON. my gosh. somehow there were so many guys there. more than the girls, which doesn't make much sense, but ah well. i feel so guilty for abandoning xiaoyu and cha for lunch, when i promised i'd have lunch with them. gahh. went to eat with david and jess instead. i'm SO SORRY. my baddd okay! i promise i'll make it up somehow.
augh i hate it. i just love the way you look at me. dammit i melt like ice. the moments we had were almost like sacred! never once have i felt as though my heart beats faster, i get nervous, and i really would just rather look at you till the end of time and be engulfed into another galaxy. never have i ever felt this way for anyone, i believe. but why is it happening now? with you? ugh.
i'm falling hard aren't i. really hard.
are you diggin' on me,
cause i'm diggin' on you.
[tattooed on my mind]
haha hello world.
report cards back today. though an improvement from last year's, after so much moderation, i kinda wished i did better. but it's aiight, cause i'm satisfied. one has to learn how to be satisfied with one's present situation, lest one will never be happy.
saturday's psl carn. a, well, very interesting day indeed. the most unlikely people seem to be going. oh and yl's band's in the papers! woohoo so funny, haha. i shall get ready my apples to throw at a particular band, however having to avoid one person, reasons due to rucha, and make sure they all get a concussion and never sing as a band for the rest of their lives. ahha, stupid buncha yidiots. but it's okay! saturday's gonna be happy day. i reallyreally wish my hopes won't be dashed. but for now, DARYL, GO FOR PSL CARN! THEN WE CAN ALL LUNCH TOGETHER, IN TOWN, NOT IN BUKIT TIMAH. hahaha. black and white in public! surely you won't feel unwanted anymore! comeee!
its really weird cause my blog's hardly about happy stuff. so i hardly blog when i'm smiley. but these days haven't been too bad, so other than just recounting my day, i really don't know what else to say. i can only be thankful that God answered my prayers, of which the contents would not be revealed. let's just say i feel less empty and lonely and helpless.
one thing's for sure- i'm all knocked out
spend too much time thinking of you.
and now i curse you for being so sweet and so kind.
i can't get you outta my dreams
how i need you...
how i crave for you...
but for now..
let me say i love you.
I sing about what He's done
for me, it's been so much
that i can't even tell if i tried
I sing, just to let the whole world know
that we all got something
to be grateful for so lift your voice
i love marymary's lyrics.
okay i know i haven't been blogging. but i really don't know what to say. haha. umm. oh yes today! was entertaining. char was telling me about the psl carn auditions. then we asked about the cat high bands.
"there's one christian one, one satanic one!!"
haha i just thought the way she said it was REALLY funny. so i raised my hand (shite i'm being charlene influenced) and said "ah ah! my friend's the satanic one!!" hahaha. appparently she said they turned up in OLD SHIRTS, FBTs and...
*drum roll*
EYELINER!!!
hahahahaha! oh gosh. i can't believe it. i mean yl's cool and a great guy, but haha isn't the outfit a bit...off? moreover performing in a school! haha i'm gonna bring my camera! ling! we all take picture! hahaha.
ha, are happy days on the way! i doubt it. things seem to be going downhill yet again. not as though it's a surprise. but i guess i held that hope, that things would finally get better. guess i thought wrong, as usual.
saturday, after ora and tuition, met xiaoyu for.. tea! i love that small person. it's hardly often you meet someone where you can say anything to. talk about anything! of course i hope i'm not just being my trusty self and one day all my personal stuff would be found wandering in gossips' mouths. because recently i have been proved once again that trusting people easily is more of a curse than a gift. if someone thinks otherwise, please let me know.
sunday was dance. one session that's making me ache like MAD today. my four limbs are almost paralysed. i take ten hours to climb a flight of steps, and not to mention walking is difficult as it is. it's hard to sit on the floor cause you need your arm strength to support you whether youre sitting or getting up. so people, appreciate your arms. haha. cause you never realise how much you use it. then it was violin teacher's quartet concert. i liked it, though i think lenard probably didn't. but i think quartets are a lot more soothing to the ears compared to orchestras.
hokay i need my sleep.
i just cant give up now
i come too far from where i started from
nobody told me the road would be easy
and i dont believe He's brought me this far to leave me
you get me high` 12:54 AM
shit. stop doing this to me.
i can't seem to suppress how i feel about you.
i want to tell you how much i miss you
though it's only been 4 days since i last saw you.
shit. stop it. stop it.
aughh.
you get me high` 10:21 AM
[i am a flower quickly fading]
rj dance night. um. definitely rather disappointing. but. ohmygoodness. is her name hide? or hide wee or something. shit. she dances latin-salsa-ish dances damnDAMN well. like how she did for ORA last year. it's damn scary. and i'm damn green. her boyfriend dances damn well too. sheesh shes like the star of the whole thing man.
well i'm really pissed. for not being respected. as a human being, as a girl. as a female species. damn you. you little lying pandora. you little viper. you will never get it your way.
of course thankfully there's you. ah. i can't stand it how you've cheered up every single one of my day this week. it's mad. how i can stop myself from crying just by thinking of the funny things you say. and not just taking the tears away, you can in turn put a smile on my face. are you my revenue? sigh. you mad lovely thing.
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
you get me high` 10:45 AM
sigh.
thank you for talking to me.
and not being like the rest.
being tactful in your words.
knowing what to say at the right time.
in your own cute sweet way.
making me laugh.
something i've hardly done today.
for not making me feel worse.
and not pissing me off.
thank you.
for letting me end the day peacefully.
i've flown too high on borrowed wings...
is it okay if i just want you.
you, and only you?
...please, my wings, fly me away...
[long lost words whispered slowly to me]
i honestly don't want to get back my already predicted 10/50 chem paper. can i just die before tomorrow. i am in agony just imagining myself holding my paper, with the big fat <10 number in front of me. and all the red crosses blinding my view. then the tears come screaming in. and i will falter.
though it is all expected.
why do some people come online so often. yet some just seldom come on.
i finally understood why i was made to go through what i felt not too long ago. other than personally growing closer to God, but also to use my experiences to share with friends. and hopefully they will too grow closer to Him. He really uses our weaknesses to glorify His name. though i've fought my internal battle and set my mind that i leave this round of tests entirely in His hand, i know i will still be affected by the results. i'm only human. but i'm facing it. and i know that pain won't last as long. cause i put in effort, and i prayed. and that's all it takes. i can only smile, and hope that He would be merciful and not put me through another one of those emotional trials again. so for now, i just, really. want to talk to him. i just need someone to rant on about my anxiety. really. please.
i've been so tired lately, it's quite worrying. getting lethargic. should go do some exercise soon. say, dance? haha. it's weird. how i really want to dance. but yet i don't feel like it. talk about being oxymoronic. or maybe it's the late nights sitting next to my computer waiting for the perfect small screen to pop up from the bottom right hand of the monitor. any guesses what i'm talking abt? ha.
oh and my apologies to a particular someone. apparently my words carry too much provocation in them. apparently my words carry swords along with them. well, if so, that's me. but still, i'll say sorry nevertheless. it wasn't my intention...or you'll be a lot more hurt than you are now.
aiight i shall go... do my own things. and try to stick by the com while i'm at it. (: cheers.
i give you all that i am
you can resurrect a thousand words
to deceive me, more and more
a thousand words would be the reason why
i dont need you anymore
ahha thing's are good huh.
gooddd.
(:
saturday was fun. i got home at 1am. plus i had dinner had billy bombers which was awesommee.
sunday was hokay. mothers' day and all. my mum's happy with the gift my bro and i got her.
and i got my hair cut today! not that theres much of a difference, haha. but it rocks. i love to cut my hair. X)
the only flipside would be my poor pocket being burnt a biggg hole. rj dance night tickets, acj choir tickets, 30 bucks for the mothers' day swatch. 60 bucks?
ouch.
but i'm happyyyy. (:
...i wonder why...
we stumble in a tangled web
decaying frienships almost dead
and hide behind a mask of lies
[memories seep from my veins]
hello world.
i am free from the clutches of the common tests. somehow i dont feel the release.
maybe it's cause i was never really bothered by studying. studying itself wasn't too much of a hassle. it only...subconciously drives me mad, if that made any sense at all. so it's normal me. to mad me. no in betweens, no warnings.
maybe it's cause i'm plagued by other things.
maybe it's cause my poor mind is infested with other issues.
maybe it's you?
and it's hard at the end of the day
ah i think it's sad how people drift apart. it hasn't happened to many of my friends, actually. most of my closeclose friends, still stay quite close to me. except a few. friends come and go, i know. but damn, the grief of it all.
i need some distraction. oh, beautiful release
well after my very. horrible. chemistry. paper today.
twas lunch with char cha nikki ally zhixu xinwei. you see, i was supposed to play POOL with ANNALYN today, just that she canceled on me again for the SECOND time! God bless her. hahaha. anyway after lunch i had to rush to alexandra for a blood test and my doc's appointment. which was really annoying cause instead of enjoying my time out, i had to be stuck stoning at the hospital being pricked by a needle (and this nurse didn't use the baby butterfly needle, so poor me ended up screaming in pain), and stoning for an hour and a half for the results. thankfully all's fine and dandy.
then after the very long wait, and the doctor's consultation, i had to rush all the way back to town to meet my best friend, KAITLYN NG KAI LING. haha. sorry i was so late girl. picked out a mum's day present for auntie sweekheng. haha i rock right! it was nice! i'm good at presents. (: haha, just, not for guys. then dinner at pastamania. all's good man. catching up with someone you can speak your mind (and nonsense) with is amazing. thanks for the companyy!
sigh the night is still young but fatigue overwhelms me. OH before i go. has anyone been watching the 730 show on channel U? if you haven't, and are a hopeless romantic, YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT. it's so weird, i've never cried so much watching a show before. haha, shrugs. moreover for humans. i mean i know i cried for stuart little and all these animal-thingamajig shows. but hardly for...well, humans. and omg! that lead guy's so sweet! okay i know i sound like a crazy fangirl, but i love the show! it's so slow and sappy and yet the sweetest thing ever!
okay so that's a new thing up your agenda, guys. (:
i miss my black and denim angel.
in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
[i fell in love once and almost completely]
does anyone remember how much i love joss stone? (: she rocks. when's her next album coming.
so it's labour day! thus blogging shall be squeezed into the agenda. not that i'm very busy. i'll elaborate later.
yesterday!
i feel bad, i didn't go to church, cause i had a concert in the afternoon so i wanted to study in the morning. sorry God. |: and the worst thing is i decided to stop studying for a day cause everything was getting very melancholic and dull, plus i've covered almost everything, just need a final revision before the test itself. so i just slacked. haha and played my piano. till after when i went with uncle tc, his wife, and kenzie to watch Lord of the Dance!
it was, uh, okay i guess? riverdance was a lot better. but watching them just made me realise how much i missed irish tap dancing. it was a really... happy dance. (: those were the days. sidney claire marie adrien daniel and i. wonder where they all are now. performances. st pat's day. at the irish ambassador's. everywhere. it was just cool. and how slippery it was with the tap shoes on, we always ended up slipping. and i quit tap for french. can you believe it, what a stupid decision that was. i wonder whether they're still teaching. maybe i'll join again. and start from scratch. stumbled upon my taps yesterday too. wonder if i can still wear them. maybe i'll go try, it was a hundred over bucks anyway. but i thought Lord of the Dance went against the irish tap rules too much. weaved in too many modern techniques. but i guess they had to, the show would be quite boring if the dancers' hands stayed by their sides throughout the 2 hours. haha.
they came over to my place after the show. talked with my mum a little. then kenzie stayed behind, haha. after being coaxed by my mum. he's five, and is terribly adorable. one of the only kids i like. the only problem is i'm hopeless with kids. (problem with being the youngest around) i had no idea how to entertain him. haha. but nvm. he's really cute. he left with me to tuition. mum sent him home after she dropped me. (:
tuition was fine. a bit stiff at the beginning, but nevertheless. tests do drive one mad. X)
anyway, the weekend saw me lazing around. cause i really didn't want to kill myself and read through what i've read over and over again esp after i've gotten the concept. maybe i'm just not being thorough. shrugs. but i'm really tired of holding the ten inch book to my face, trying to highlight my life away. yes.
today started well. was awoken by my mum's, "CHILDREN ITS 1040, GET UP WE'RE GOING TO RUSH TO HAVE MCDONALD'S BREAKFAST!" talk about being juvenile. but i love mac's breakfast. (: beats me. it's just... nice.
so i'm going to work on my social studies, and try not to think of limsshhoookhoon while i'm at it. or her image will just piss me off, and i'll shut my book and become a potato in front of the tele.
ladeedum.
i hope this week goes well.
and goes by quickly.
you can kill a girl
with a bottle of poison or a knife.
but it'd hurt her more
to take her pride
and ruin her life.
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