all that jazz'

Thursday, June 30

[i'll be the greatest fan of your life]

sorry sorry for not blogging these days. this week's been and going to be rather busy. tuesday night tuition, wednesday night out for dinner, thursday worship, friday chma, saturday my whole day's gone, sunday youth sunday and kate/elliot's bday bash.

school has been, well, boring as usual. but i'm quite happy i'm understanding organic chem quite well. but kinda lost for bio cause i missed monday's lesson due to the stupid m'sian minister. choir's been...as usual. i think it's getting more boring by the day, but nevermind. and the fact that concert's a day before mocks isn't very encouraging. oh and UCC has only four hundred seats?!? what the hell! 200 for the choir members, which means four for everyone and that's terribly pathetic, and another 200 for the whole school? stupid.

annalyn did something very courageous today! haha. don't worry woman, you did the right thing. and you have Him behind you. ladeedum. plus leow's been very encouraging about it. so yup.

thursday was quite fun. school was quite lively, though the monotony returned during choir, then it was worship prac! worship prac's the best when my band consists of lance mikh josh jason xian and i. haha the pro-est of the pros! i think mikh and i are gonna crash at josh's place after church on sunday, so we can go buy presents and have an easier time trying to get to changi. haha. thankfully the next day's youth day! anyway after worship, lance mikh josh and i were just jamming around. so we all switched instruments, sang, harmonised, and it was so damn fun. you get that much laughter when you're with them. you should have seen mikh jumping over the pews like some giant. haha. we're a mad buncha nutcases who have so much fun together! hahaha.

train ride back with mikh and lance. rahh my mum wasnt feeling well so she msged me last minute to tell me to go home myself. i think three of us made the most noise on the train. haha. our conversation:-

me: hey i am going out!
lance: ohh i'm going out too!
mikh: i am mikhtam!
[pauses awhile. laughter rolls in]
me: ooh nice to meet you! are you going out tomorrow?
mikh: oh no sorry to disappoint but i'm mikhtam!
me: ooh okay. i'm going out.
lance: ah i happen to be going out too!
mikh: oh so you're going out too?
me: ooh so cool! so we're both going out!
lance: no sorry i'm going out too!
mikh: you guys are like best friends! that's why when you're going out, he's going out too!

hahaha. get it get it? if you dont, you outta be shot!

rahh havent started on bio pt. getting really damn freakeddddd out. due friday! better start this weekend. mmhmm. k work beckons. laterr.

cause it's you and me
and all of the people

you get me high`
7:50 PM

Monday, June 27

[you see i can play a pretty convincing role]

first day of school. man what. a. drag. okay actually it wasn't THAT bad cause i missed 2 outta five or six lessons. mmhmm. but augh i missed bio! you see i like bio. cause i need to know bio. and like mrchia's classes. but it's not doubt that i'm super intimidated by him, and my words get tied up every time i talk to him. "i'm going for uhh the minister. malaysian. malaysian minister. yarh performance....thing!" yeah see.

but yeah performance for the m'sian minister. super weird! i thought we were superbly outta place. cause the room setting was like a meeting cum conference, then you get like ten girls wearing tropical hawaiian shirts and boardshorts singing YOU ARE MY ICE KACHANG. and doing cheezy comical actions. accapella style. haha. but i think we didn't screw it up too badly. considering we managed to put everything together in half an hour! whee applause please!

anyway. i got jazz shoes yesterday! like WHEE. okay though they really aren't as pretty as the bloch jazz shoes, but hey it's quite nice. [no jess im not trying to convince myself!] but i saw the pink bloch shoes and they're superbly nice. rahh. nevermind. (: still happy happy.

i was at the supermarket just now, and i saw this eurasian guy. and bang the first word that came to my head- ben. woohoo ben. no one can beat ben. at least, no eurasian guy can. woohoo. ben's the best huh.

i want my zara jeans! rahh.

sorry my entry's very random. see i'm being disturbed on the phone. so yeah.

whee.

anyone realised the many many stars in the sky on...saturday night? (:

feels just like it should

you get me high`
6:13 AM

Friday, June 24

[am i so insignificant?]

the holidays have flown past. just like that. poof. and gone. three days before school resumes. school. ah that dreaded word. the routine lifestyle. waking up at 630. rushing my life to school. the usual timetable. piles and piles of work. choir after school. study after dinner. sleep. and the next day, the same routine. over, and over again.

getting into my paranoid moods again. how fragile friendships are. really. in fact, how fragile everything is. naviety and friendships don't mix well together. and it's not as though i don't want to talk to people around me about how i feel, but more of being aware of my surroundings. of human nature. of hypocrisy. which leads to skeptism of people's remarks and "concern". insecurity? maybe. but i believe i have perfect liberty to be.

the irony. that the person i trust most. is the person i think would toy with me most. the one that most people would agree i shouldn't even shower with basic respect. yet the one person who knows me inside out. who knows practically everything that bothers me. the one who slaps me back to reality. and the one who walks through it with me. life is weird, isn't it.

ah well. on a brighter note, my ipod shuffle arrived yesterday. mixed feelings about it. cause i know with my shuffle, it's a 100 percent i won't be able to get my zen neeon. but i've decided i don't want to be caught up with material things. i do like the neeon quite a bit, but i should be contented with my shuffle, shouldnt i? serves my purpose, moreover it's small and light and easy to carry around. and it was free. even better. yup. so i shall love my shuffle. and not compare it with the neeon. ahha.

today was quite fun. math in the morning. the lunch with mum and annalyn. okay fine, i should stop calling you annalyn. lunch with mum and ling. then she came back to my place to study. we studied for damn long! four/ four half hours? till about 7ish. then dinner at my place too. and omg, you watch the 730 show! that's like. a first! ahha. YOU WATCH TEEVEE! -.- headed to JCC at 8. fine we were almost half an hour late. my bad. played pool till about 1015. damn funny. she's like one of the only people that can crack me up like i'm "paralysed with laughter", as quoted from her blog. 9 years of friendship pays off, doesn't it. finally. i saw you the first few days of the holidays! and now it's gonna be the last few days. same wavelength, same thinking, just different tastes. MY ROOM DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A JUNGLE AND MY EARRINGS ARE NICE. hrmph. don't insult my dog. both toy and living.

yong.
tau.
foo.

the pain when it grips me for things i have done

you get me high`
7:38 AM

Wednesday, June 22

[i'm not even sure its me you wanna keep]

whee today was fun! though i was rather sick in the morning, and couldn't go for busking. sniffsniff. hope all's fine, and they're not leaving the ones who didn't go out. (:

it was fun wandering into some strange apartment place. it was fun to play pepsi-cola! haha. darn i found someone who can beat me. bleagh. cheat my feelings.

augh i should be going for choir. but i'm sick. i can hardly sing! not to mention sing for a few hours. i'll drop by choir tomorrow though. from 8-12. quite crucial. gotta learn the medley. mmhmm. so tired. medicine makes you sleepy.

anyway i don't really have much to say.

oh annalyn, i TRIED tagging. but your board doesnt like me. baically i heard the song and somehow boom, i thought that i should send it to you. and that it might help you. so just ask Him for help, and you'll be set free. ladeedum.

i'm no angel

you get me high`
5:52 AM

Tuesday, June 21

i'll step outside my mind's eyes for a minute
and look over me like a doctor looking for disease
and something that would ease the pain
but nothing cures the hurt you bring on by yourself
just remembering, just remembering how we were.

my world is a flood.

you get me high`
8:27 AM

Monday, June 20

[cause we are the special two]

this entry's gonna be very rambled, cause my thoughts are all twirled up, and my nose is blocked like there's no tomorrow. haven't been feeling well the past few days, bleagh. i really wonder how i get my oxygen. hope i'll be fine tomorrow so i'll be allowed for tennis.

ahha that's a very weird annonymous note. and btw that's not from the usual annonymous that annalyn goes on about HAUW stones should be thrown. and i know most people you told don't give much about whatever you told. but you told THE WHOLE WORLD. you did the same for jiangnan k! like nikki could recite the whole scenario. two seater three seater? yeah? and what goes around comes around. thus revenge has to be more substantial. muahaha.

which would answer derek's question. no not annonymous notes. only the one after yours. haha dumdeedum. i have very interesting conversations with derek. something he said yesterday- "you've always had a whole lot of attitude to carry along, just that you never used to know how to control it. but i've seen you grow and mature these past two years and now it just makes you cool and different from the rest."
how cool is that? haha. and i tell him the weidest stuff. like i was msging him today telling him about my entering into a shirt phase. where i love nice proper shirts. esp when they're striped. and we somehow digressed into the topic of how i should pick guys who wear nice and proper shirts too. hmm, i think someone fulfills that criteria. but anyway, we start talking about how shiyuan should wear more shirts, and not look like a sloth, then girls would fall head over heels for him. haha. digression digression. but derek's always been a joy to talk to. it's like having another older brother, who isn't just a walking figure in my life.

i think i deserve more applause.
i happily went for piano today, canceling all my plans cause for once i remembered that monday i have piano. so i got there, and the door wasn't locked so i just went in and started playing with my teacher's youngest daughter. then my teacher walked past us and saw me, giving us this superbly shocked face. then ah. i realised THERE WASN'T LESSON. cause she just got back from vacation bible school. haha omg i should be shot. i know she told me many many times but it just slipped my mind! haha. must have been really odd to see me there. grrr.

ooh i went singing with jess before that. and due to my blocked-until-cannot-be-blocked-any-further nose, i'm pretty sure i started sounded like a suffocating duck who just quacked along trying to gasp for air. it's a miracle i didn't drop dead and die. cause of death: ' "self"-suffocation '

and when i got home (i got home EARLY so i could take a nap and go for piano), i realised i didn't have my key! so i was locked outside! gahhh. such a winner! so i had to scoot around till mum came back and brought me for piano... then you know what happened after that.

ooh zh and marcus are tagging along for chma's! so fun so fun.

man i'm not thinking right. i think i'm blogging funny too. haha. my concentration is just so scattered now.
so you know what, i think i'd better go sleep. or at least try to. and to gasp for air too. mmhmm.

the darkness helped until the whiskey wore away

you get me high`
5:05 AM

Sunday, June 19

every night i pray
on bended knees
that you will always be my everything

HA! for everyone you've told about a particular something, annalyn ng li ting, i've decided on my revenge! -insert evil laughter- woohoo!

hmm. i dont like recounting my days, so i shall do it in pointform. haha.

-i went for violin yesterday. only to find that i forgot to bring my violin to the car. and i only realised that when i reached his doorstep. applaud me. hahaha. it was damn funny. so i called my teacher to apologise, wanted to head home to get it, but he decided to change lesson to the next day. which is today. whee haha.

-sign language course. funfun! i think we're getting the hang of the song. though we all start doing gibberish signs when it comes to the fast chorus. mann, haha. and the grumpyfrumpy man wasn't so grumpy anymore. in fact, he seemed rather... funny. man, the amusement of it all.

-ooh so today! violin. got up so early for it, went there, and my A string snapped! AHH. poof! which sorta screwed up my whole lesson cause the new strings take awhile to settle in. but on the whole it was okay! (: whee at least he was pleased.

-then it was really funny, when my mum came to fetch me, she told me to msg my brother to see if he was awake. but i ended up sending that msg to my violin teacher! woohoo im such a winner. so he replied "i just finished lesson with your daughter, and i am pretty sure i wasn't asleep throughout!" ahhahaha so funny!

-church. mikh greeted me, then josh came over. he asked "hey did you call? why did you call me?!" so i asked him why didn't he call me back. "...oh cause i didn't understand why you'd call me so i thought it was accidental" HAHA. so mikh was like. "dont mess with her k! if you wanna mess with her you gotta mess with me first!" and we all went "HAIYAHHH!!!! [kungfu style]" at the same time. hahaha it was so funny!

-caught up with charlotte after years. realised that the bio we're doing, is the exact syllabus they're doing in rj. which is...stupid. probably going to her place tomorrow to help her a bit. i dont know why i'm helping her when i suck at bio. but she doesn't understand, cause she'd been sick for like two weeks and missed a whole lot of lessons. i just hope i can be of help, since her common tests start the first day of school.

-dance. pat doesn't do floor moves when i bring my kneepads. again, i'm such a winner. but dance was fun. and easy. and i think i like jazz better. OH. jess and i are gonna order jazz shoes next week. AH SO FUNKAY! we tried them on today, and it felt so COOL just wearing them! whee! the shoes are my brother's belated bday gift to me. haha.

-but we all hate pat anyway.

-lunch at soupspoon was goood. yumyum. and topped off with haagen daaz icecream. how fattening.

okay recounting is tiring.
i've been so tired! really dont know why. i shall go take a nap. aching like mad. bleagh.

thanks for your msgs! (: i couldn't decide whether to reply. i really wanted to, but i figured you're not using your phone, but your parent's and sister's? so yeah. (: hope you're having fun.

lies lock you up, with truth the only key

you get me high`
3:06 AM

Friday, June 17

[fearful tears are running down]

boohoo you're leaving. in...awhile! =\
boo the nostalgia of it all! have fun! (:

kate's birthday on... tuesday!
blasted fun! just both of us. met for dinner! and started greeting everyone with 'aloha'! okay it was really funny! kate and i are always up to the craziest antics. yet im so thankful i can talk to her about pratically everything! dinner was aiight, we packed the food we couldn't finish, heh.

after that we headed back to her place! cut cake. took showers. took A MILLION PICTURES. of which i have posted up. then we watched pirates of the carribbean! johnny depp is the hottest! AH. the conversations! "me? i'm dishonest. but you can trust the people who are dishonest to be dishonest, honestly!" superb show! though i've watched it a million times already. can't wait for pirates 2 to come out! (: whee.

well the show ended at.. almost half past two? so we went to bed! woke up kinda late, had a late breakfast. my kind of breakfast. (: then lunch. my kinda lunch too. haha. whee that's why i love eating at kate's! [sounds like some restaurant] then we watched shrek! whee so funny. okay then i had to leave. boohoo.

the perks when you go to kate's place. you get delicious food by auntie sk. SHE MAKES MY FAVOURITE FOCCACIA BREAD FOR ME! HOMEMADE. ooh yummy stuff. haha. and basically you have tons and tons of fun.

whee.

today i had my granddaddy's father's day lunch. at some place called pariss. international buffet. i remember gary wanting to go there with jess and i during my birthday. hmm. it was aiight i guess, but my granddad was so happy, we couldn't help but feel elated too. and since the price was a bit steep, they just sat there and ate, waited till the food digested, and ate again. haha making full use of the cash i guess.

OH did i mention, jess and i went for our highly anticipated lyrical jazz, after planning for...almost six months? yeah. jazz was at ladc, so the classes were expensive. AH it was so fun! so different from funk, so soft, so pretty. but yet, really really tiring. i think funk is a lot less demanding. or maybe we're used to it. but i really wanna go for classes again! plus it's excellent work out. just think, the crunches. and since the class is an hour and a half, there's more time for across the floors, where we can all improve on our turns and kicks and whatnots! and do the funky jazzwalks alicia makes us do. my gosh i can't stand it alicia's so good. darn, when can we ever be like her.

okay i've had enough of recounting my days, quite tiresome. i never liked doing that very much, haha. ladeedum. half an hour more till the plane flies to perthhh! ladeedum.

i was just taking a walk down memory lane, and scrolling through my archives. and it disgusts me how i used to blog. haha. man, wonder whether i'll look back at these entries and feel the same, say one or two years down the road?
and i think i seemed like a rather horrible person in sec2. haha looking back, it's damn weird. probably due to being childish i guess. and haha the hate-notes. so funny. so many flared up so badly. haha. damnn. these things, haha.

hokay i shall go have a goodnight sleep. one i haven't had for ages, since some people woke me up at 330 last night to talk, after falling asleep on me. poof. and we ended up sleeping at 5! okay sorry i know i slept more than you, haha. whee. and the night before i only got to sleep at 3! haha, nvm. i can have peaceful early nights till tuesday! haha.

i got a new prettypretty striped bag! it's SO pretty. (: i dont know why but i love it to bits. so yay. i hardly buy bags. (:

there's no road that you can travel
to a place that's too far away from Him

you get me high`
7:35 AM

Wednesday, June 15

[one minute]

all i need is one minute of Your time
five seconds of it may change Your mind
ten seconds to make You see
fifteen to say, Lord i'm sorry
for all the things i've done
it will take twenty more to say that You're the One
nine to think it through
i'll take the one to say that i love You.

the last entry seems to go with my usual blogging style.
mm, ah well.
thanks for everyone who were concerned
guess i'm not alone all the time.

_________________________________________________________

yesterday was kate's birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BEST BEST FRIEND!

and we had a picture frenzy time.
along with lots and lots of laughter.

soo...
are you game enough to take a peek into our little world of retardedness?

...well i dont really care if you aren't.

dinner!

the beginning of the retardedness.

the incoherent bag.

after the shower and the gorgeous cap

the retard-est of the retarded

wah shit that's a lot of pictures. okay the rest are here! [click on 'here']

whee.

Lord im thankful for my blessings

you get me high`
7:35 AM

Monday, June 13

[tears and rain]

guess i'm used to crying alone.
the habit of putting down the phone before the tears flow is surfacing again.

why can't i listen to the very advice
to give people a chance to be there for me.

i know it's not just the disappointment
it's not just that i dont get what i want.
but.
something else.
just that, i can't seem to figure out what it is.

i thought that emptiness deep within had found its way outta my life.

i guess it's time i run far, far away
find comfort in pain

my head hurts
the silence is deafening
i dont wanna shatter into a million shards

dont try to reach me, i'm already dead.
well i try to make you proud
but for crying out loud
can't you give me the chance to hide away

exhaustion takes over
will this someday be over.

look at the crowds bleeding with laughter
over the way you entertain at beck and call
they dont see behind the lights
or the painted background

...they just like to see you fall.

rain rain on my face

lets hope tomorrow will be a better day.

how i wish i could surrender my soul;
shed the clothes that become my skin

you get me high`
7:01 AM

Sunday, June 12

[you are my everything]

mm. in a rather good mood today. other than losing some sleep while steaming on a crisis that happened last night. but thank you for the msg, i needed the apology. and my apologies to you too.

i went to church today, only to find that everyone's off for church camp and there wasnt service. i really wonder why im not there at church camp. hmm interesting. weird stuff. so my mum bro and i went to have dimsum! breakfast cum lunch. mmmmm what amazing food. yumyum. if the place wasn't so traditional and err rather ex, i think i'll bring my friends there, haha. so fun so fun. headed home, changed, and off to the gym!

so cool, going to the gym with my brother. guess we hardly do things together, so this is like PHWOAR. (: i ran for twenty minutes, cycled for ten, and did some other stuff. woohoo i could feel my muscles just burning up after everything. ahha ouch. hope i dont ache tomorrow.

ooh then i saw ian! IAN! my favorite! ahha. he's soooooooo cute! HES my miniature bf, not kenzie. omg i remember how my cousin and i used to disturb him like mad. ahh but he's so cute so irresistable! but too shy. augh. and he's SO SWEET TO HIS BROTHER. haha. i feel like grabbing him and hugging him everytime i see him. haha okay relaxxxxx.

hmm hope someone doesn't get jealous.

my longggg lost friend added me recently. aylmer. my goodness it's been... 9 years? can't believe still remembers marcus and i. can't believe he remembers SO MUCH about p1,p2. like hell, made me feel so bad that i could hardly remember anything. i only remember we used to take the bus back together, and me marc and him would be yakking and yakking away. i dont remember the gifts before he left, the conversations, the tease, the gossips. mannnn. oh which reminds me! i've decided to crash at marclim marclow's places while i'm being left alone in singapore. left alone meaning that someone is going to perth and going to have fun, while leaving me here all aloneee. so we'll go play tennis, go play pool, crash their places. and the best thing is, it's all within walking distance! woohoo. don't hafta travel across the country to town or something.

ladeedum.

dinner beckons!

thank God i found you
i was lost without you
my every wish and every dream
somehow became reality
when you brought the sunlight
completed my whole life
i'm overwhelmed with gratitude
sweet baby i'm so thankful i found you.

i'm not stickyyyyyy. XP

you get me high`
4:30 AM

Saturday, June 11

[artificially sweet]

should i blog now? when it still feels like i'm floating. wayy up high. the high still lingers. whee. so fun so fun.

woke up really early to catch the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. damn funny! but i dont think everyone got it since shan and i were the only ones who were laughing really hard in the cinema. haha british humour. tsk. but it's really hilarious if you get the jokes. (: then rushed for violin! AH he said he can tell i tried very hard! and that i put in the effort! but still not quite up to standard yet. or, speed, i would say.

mass signing course today. omg hard stuff. we have to sign the pledge! and the new national day song. it was so quick and so hard to catch up! everything started from the basics. like alphabets and numbers, which we all have learnt. then the pledge, which was still manageable, then the song! which we covered in... half an hour? which is a really short time! haha we all started screaming when they played the song and we had to sign along. superbly funny. ended fifteen minutes late. (booo sorry i was late baby) hitched a ride from ally's dad. thanksss! saved jung and i lots of trouble.

then a bit of shopping, dinner, dessert, and home sweet home! heh AWWW annalyn, i'm keeping it as vague as possible! so you won't have any reason to throw stones at me. hahaha.

whee off to do math work now. crap still have bio perf task. i haven't a clue how to do it. helppppppp.

got caught in your web

you get me high`
8:27 AM

Thursday, June 9

can you take it all away...

everything's so blurry
everything's so fake
and everyone's empty
everything is so messed up
you could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i will protect you
from all of the obscene
i wonder what you're doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far
can you take it all away
when you shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
everyone is changing
there's no one left that's real
so make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel
nobody told me what you thought
nobody told me what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
told you when to run away
nobody told you where to hide
nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
showed you when to run away

you get me high`
11:00 PM

[come dance with me]

hokay that's enough interrogation for a few days. the previous entry shall not be the entry on top, so i shall blog again.

i am sleep deprived! and running on a really short fuse. my tummy aches, and i really should go lose some weight. haha but no im not gonna whine and be all girly here. blahblah. the weather is freggin hot. just woke up from my two hour nap! had to get up really early for choir. of which i was probably half asleep. but i think we dont sound too bad. ahh just that CONCERT IS A DAY BEFORE MOCKS. grahh.

sometimes it's good to listen to your friends. i've learnt that lesson the hard way. i should stop living in my own world, believing that as long as i care, the other person will return the feelings. and that even if the person doesn't say he cares, deep deep down he still does. damn was i wrong. a simple promise can't even be kept. what more, a friendship. so i should stop being naive and simple minded, thinking the world will go my way.

dammit. piss me off. ugh.

man, i haven't practised my scales like that since.... no not since. i've NEVER practised my scales like that. ah, things one will do to go out on saturday. i made a pact with my violin teacher, that if i play well, and impress him, he'll call my mum and tell her i did well, so i can go out after violin lesson. AH so funny. but it's gonna be so hard to impress him. how am i gonna play my violin pieces at the speed he wants! SUPERBLY FAST LAR. blah.

kenzie's over at my place. staying till saturday. omg the fatigue of running after a 5 year old kid. mannn. he's really quite cute i must say, but still, very tiring. always coming up to me, asking me if i have TOYS. not stuffed toys, but TOYS. like things you PLAY with. why would i have them! then he asks my brother, which is even less possible. ahha. saturday. i wonder if i can take it.

my best friend's birthday's coming up! and i haven't a CLUE what to get for her! i saw something the other day, but im practically bankrupt, how to afford that! AH i wanna get her that.... that thing. haha. ladeedum. hi kate. (:

i'm tired. rest is needed.

I WANT THE CREATIVE ZEN NEE ON THING! heh. prettypretty.

always be my baby

you get me high`
1:53 AM

Tuesday, June 7

[loving me for me]

i dont like recounting my days. hmm haven't blogged about you for a longgg time, and since it plays at your ego when you read it, why not. ahha.

mm. it's weird, how i used to tell myself that i couldnt and shouldnt fall too deep into this whole thing. cause i didn't want to just die the minute you leave. but no matter how hard i tried, i just keep sinking, deeper and deeper, as every minute goes by. it's actually kinda scary. i've said before over reliance is a dangerous thing. now i'm just absolutely vulnerable. but do i really care? not for now, since i can't help it anyway. haha. whee. so thank you for turning my frowns upside-down. and i trust. that absence will make the heart grow fonder; and there won't be a time when the heart grows fond of absence. haha it's so funny, i'm counting down to the O levels when i dont even have to take it. o.O interesting.

this is so fun. the whole world is reading this.

whee i was listening to some of my older songs, and this song sorta sums up everything i feel. (:

people ask if i'm in love with you
cause i'm sitting here with your picture
and smiling to myself
i'm kinda lost in my own thoughts of you
my heart speaks before my mind thinks through
and i blush as i say yes

what a feeling of vulnerability coming over me
and i'm feeling weak and i can't speak
never thought i'd give in so willing to a human being
with abilities to set me free
let me be me
makes me wanna say

your lips, your eyes, your smile, your kiss
i must admit is a part of me
you please me, complete me, filling me
like a melody
your soul, your flow, your youth, your truth is simply proof
we were meant to be
but the best quality that's hooking me
is that youre loving me for me

now people ask why i'm in love with you
well let me start by saying you got my heart
by just being who you are
what we got is between me and you
doesn't matter about the money i make or what i do,
or if i'm a star

unconditionally you're there for me
undeniably you inspired me, spiritually, so sweet
this is meaningful,
it's incredible, pleasurable, unforgettable
the way i feel, so sweet, makes me wanna say

it's so amazing how something so sweet
has come and rearranged my life
i've been kissed by destiny
heaven came and saved me
an angel was placed at my feet
this is ordinary
he's loving me for me

ooh aren't the lyrics so nice. haha. and so true.

no one in the world but youuuu and meeeee! (:

darling you hold me prisoner

you get me high`
8:54 AM

Sunday, June 5

haha i think my guestbook's hilarious.

do you guys even know what you're 'coff'-ing about.

seems to me, you're referring to different things!

hahaha.

you get me high`
6:41 AM

[silent like the sound proceeding a cyclone]

someone told me that i'm an irony by itself. a contradiction. he says i carry myself in a way with absolute confidence, yet im truly such a paranoia. haha. mind boggling. i wonder how true it is.

i think i busted both my knees again. i really should start remembering to bring my kneepads. i seem to bring them when we don't do floorwork. damn. hope i dont end up limping tomorrow. just ugly bruises that would disappear in a day or two.

pat is such a bias freak. he's so annoying. he daos jess, and yet is so nice to eugene. guys are such jerks sometimes. which reminds me of jeanette's song.
you're one in a hundred
you're one of the bastards
you make me discover that you cant be trusted

haha so true huh. i miss jeanette actually. she's in some i-dont-know-where place. haha.

i dont know what i'm even blogging. i dont seem to have anything to say. kinda tired of recounting my days. not really a characteristic of my blog huh. ah well.

your emotional tools
can cure any fool
whose dreams have fallen apart

you get me high`
3:02 AM

Saturday, June 4

[holding on for you]

holidays have been goood haven't they. even better when your parents aren't at home. haha. but all the fun will end tmr! when mum comes back. but i'm glad she's coming back. it's weird not seeing her for so long. mmhmm. at least she had fun at church camp.

yesterday jesso came over to stay! whee. met her in the afternoon, then we went to watch monster-in-law. omg it was hilarious! couldn't stop laughing. i agree it was SLIGHTLY exaggerated, but SUCH A JOY to watch nevertheless. hmm. then went around shopping and killing time. till we decided to head home. had pizza for dinner! which was...quite nice. yup. then we just watched tele till ten ish, and went to holland v for supper! essential brews. and the place is getting from fabulous to terrible. sigh, the sadness of it all. felt so bad, my bro was all alone. and he didn't want me to buy supper back for him, which made us feel even more guilty. got home fifteen minutes past twelve i think. yup.

after the showers and washing up, we just sat there. and talked. TALKED. UNTIL PAST FIVE. past five hokay. WAH. fell asleep at like what. almost 530 can. FIVE THIRTY. nevermind, we had a good chat, i hope. i really hope. sorry if i said things that were, uh, harsh, jess. people think clearer at night. at least i know i do. (: we woke up at ONE the next afternoon! haha.

but if you think about it, i have a reason to be sleepy in the day cause it's only like past seven hours of sleep. not enough.

lunch at fareast. then dessert. and by that time it was rather late. plus jess and i were tired and stoned, so she went home and i headed to meet rucha. of which i missed the stop twice, and ended up being a lot later than i should have. (I WAS EARLY K ANNALYN. applaud me)

dinner. then ballet concert. augh contemporary ballet. i think people should abolish it. it is really incomprehensible! what happened to the classical ballet where people looked so graceful and pretty, and everything's just so sweet and happy. not something that is somewhat near crude, and nowhere near graceful. at all. blah.

haha but it was damn fun being out with rucha. we have planets to talk about. the topics never stop coming, and the laughter hardly ceases. so basically twas a fantabulous night. esp topped off with someone being so nice, coming down all the way to send me home. very nice LAR you. whee. what a way to spend the holidays. don't you just love them.

which reminds me, i think term3's gonna be realllyyyy hectic. so i'd better enjoy myself first.

have i mentioned starwars is a weird movie? haha the script writers should go jump off a building. sooo corny. haha. ((:

the feeling that i'm feeling now that i dont hear your voice

you get me high`
9:52 AM

Thursday, June 2

[devil in the wishing well]

hmm. it wasn't a dream was it. somehow when i woke up this morning, it all seemed somewhat unreal. ah well.

annalyn, i want your password!

let's see. wednesday. class chalet. or part thereof. met the girls at 130. yes i know i was late. nothing new. haha. lunched at some foodcourt. we take a very long time to have lunch, i realise. haha. then took a rather long bus ride to the chalet. note to everyone, if you want a class chalet, DONT GO TO ALOHA CHANGI. it's desolated, ulu-ated, and whatever word you can think of under the same category. yup. scary stuff. so we all settled down after admin stuff. and started playing bridge! annalyn xinwei charlene and i, and later joined by sru. i think i forgot half the things iwan taught me. heh. whoops. nvm, practise makes perfect. anyway my poor rucha was lost in some dilapidated corner of the very unfamiliar changi. and since we're all not very wellversed with the surroundings, i had an honestly hard time trying to direct her around. but alas she found her way. haha.

oh i haven't mentioned, that while annalyn and i were playing bridge, we got a msg saying WELCOME TO MALAYSIA! hahaha damn funny. but it was rather worrying, cause we might have been on autoroam while msging and calling people. ack.

anw after awhile the girls wanted to go to the beach. somehow i didn't feel like going, and neither did annalyn. so we just sat there, alone, in the darkdark scary chalet, playing SPEED! haha. damn fun! and i have deproved so much! aughh. stupid. but twas fun! so annalyn! when are you game for another round! my place or yours k! haha.

my friendship with annalyn's very rollercoaster like. haha. 9 years. of serious ups and downs. i know there was once i didn't talk/dao-ed you for what. half/three quarts of a year? until our third lang exam, i wished you luck. haha. man. sec 2 right. then there're climaxes and deep valleys. haha. anyway i hope you're fine now. and that they are talking to you.

damn i've got a cut on my finger. oh and a cut on my lip too. hahaha. how terribleee. still hurts k. heh.

kk gotta wake jesso up, then we're gonna hit the roads!

i'm all at sea

you get me high`
8:55 PM